9 posts tagged “marrow”

It's been nearly a month since my last posting since, mostly, I haven't had much to say.

I wanted to say thanks to those individuals who have been helping me to get back into Bri's headspace and find her voice again. She's a tough cookie to crack and right now I think I'm starting to figure out 'where she's at' so to speak.

Marrow has grown too complacent, however. I might be contacting a few of you about this to put some conflict back into the cranky, bony one. While complacent is good for her mental health, surely, it's kind of boring for her player. ;) I have a few ideas, having discussed it with a couple of you, but it's a matter of finding a way to implementing it. If I can't find players to help me out, I may turn to plot staff to see if they'd be willing to run a short scene for me just to act as a catalyst to get her back onto that path of mental instability.

And Theresa's just fine, really. I just need to get her out more. :)

That's about it.

It's been a few weeks and I'm still trying to get my crap together. Thanks for bearing with me.

I'm finding I have less and less time these days for MUSHing, so I'm trying to work out a week-by-week schedule for this. Bottom line: I work shifts and have found that I need to be more RL-social, including seeing friends I hardly ever see and family members who feel it's six months at a time before they get to see me again and aren't happy with that. (They exaggerate, but still. Point taken.) And on top of this, I've been bringing work home, have a personal project that has to be done (for my own sanity) and have been cracking down on my school work.

So, I can't be on every night, but I'm doing my best to be on 3-5 times per week, minimum, as I still want to MUSH, still have obligations on MUSHes and don't want to drop everything.

With all that in mind and in the spirit of getting back into stuff, here's what I need/want to do with my characters:

1. Brianna - She's currently the de facto leader of the X-Men, a teacher, a squad leader, yearbook advisor and a musician and lately, she has been very inactive. Again. Still. However you want to look at it. I need to fix this. However, I've made a few attempts to get people together, set things up or even be available but people aren't taking me up on much. Any suggestions on how I can get people excited to get involved again would be greatly appreciated. Because I can't be on every day, it's sometimes hard for me to judge when others might be around or to just spontaneously start things -- shiftwork sucks, ladies and gents. Also, aside from this, now that she's relatively mobile, I'd like to get her out on the streets a bit more... in her favourite club, the cyber cafe, etc. She's been cooped up too much and I'd like to expand her experiences a little. I even considered her 'moonlighting' as a singer or guest musician at various clubs around town. Anyone want in on that?
   
   
2. Marrow - An acolyte of Magneto, Combat Marshal and general 'thug' for the Brotherhood, my little walking nightmare does a lot of 'training' or 'working out', 'patrolling' and generally rumbling with the street thugs of NYC. The side-line story that was going on for her was her relationship with her boyfriend (which is great fun, honestly), but I'd like to branch her out a bit. I know she's cantankerous and scary-looking, but there's really a scared, walled-up little girl under all those bone spikes and gruff attitude and it's something I'd love to get a chance to explore a bit more, if anyone's willing. I've managed to get to this a bit with her relationship with Zach, and with some of her friendship with Rogue, but I really feel I've only managed to hit the tip of the iceberg. Anyone willing to help with?
   
   
3. Theresa - For those who don't know, I have a third alt named Theresa. Yes, it's Siryn! I've managed to get a few scenes down with a potential love interest, perhaps a few friends, and even an 'enemy', but there's something missing... ah! Yes! FEMALE FRIENDS. ;) All her contacts so far are male, which is fine... and I don't want to deter anyone with male characters to avoid RPing with Theresa because I've said this. But she's relatively new to NYC or to the U.S. in general, she's a student, she's Catholic with a bit of a temper/mouth on her if she gets riled enough, and she could really use some friends, especially those of the female persuasion. Who is she going to talk to about some stuff. Writing letters home to her aunt is great, but there's no one-on-one action right now. Who's up for the challenge? ;)

With the exception of maybe Bri, who does have some professional obligations she needs to fulfill or take care of as well, all three of my girls really need some interpersonal interaction at this point. One-on-one or small (read: 2-3 people) group scenes would be grand.

Do I want them involved in plot? Hm, well, by nature, Bri and Marrow will already get dragged into plot, so that's a given. Right now, I'm still trying to get a 'feel' for Theresa and what makes her tick, what will push her over certain edges, etc. So smaller, non-big-plot scenes would be something I'd like to focus on less, if possible, for a little while. Though, if she gets dragged in ICly, that's different. ;)

So, that's that. If anyone is willing to help out or get involved or wants to get dragged into something, etc., poke at me, please. Feedback is welcome too. :)

"All of This Past" - Sarah Bettens

Here I go again
Slipping further away
Letting go again
Of what keeps me in place
I like it here
But it scares me to death
There is nothing here
(humming)
The light is beautiful
But I’m darker than light
And you are wonderful
But this moment is mine
All of this dust
All of this past
All of this over and gone
And never coming back
All of this forgotten
Not by me
I find comfort here
Cos I know what is lost
Hope is always fear
For the pain it may cost
And I have searched for the reason to go on
I’ve tried and I’ve tried
But it’s taking me so long
I might be better off
Closing my eyes
And God will come looking for me
In time
All of this dust
All of this past
All of this over and gone
And never coming back
All of this forgotten
Not by me
All of this dust
All of this past
All of this over and gone
And never coming back
All of this forgotten
Not by me
I can see myself
I look peaceful and pale
But underneath
I can barely inhale
I can hear myself singing that song
Over and over until it belongs to me
(humming)

Does anyone else ever get surprised by their characters?

Now, some people might respond to that with a rather confused expression and a statement that sounds something along the lines of, "Are you nuts? You control your character, so how can you be surprised by them? You do the typing!"

Yes, this is very true.

But I've been RPing for a while and I really love when I don't have to really think while RPing save for an appropriate choice of words to describe what my character is doing. There are many scenes that I get into where I have no idea what my character will do until I start typing the pose (or even until after I have finished typing it!). My characters seem to get lives and minds of their own and really do react in ways that I would not, nor would I dream of even considering doing.

Marrow has been shocking the hell out of me right, left and centre as of late. Almost to the point where I have thought, "Who are you and what have you done with Marrow?" I'm seeing sides of her that I only sort of knew about and never thought would ever surface. Then again, it helps that I've had a few other players who have been willing to help bring these aspects of the character to the surface with their own characters' involvement in her life.

A minor example, but who knew that Marrow actually has a ticklish spot? It's harder to find (get your minds out of the gutter!) and so it wouldn't come up often, but she does! I didn't know she had one until it was recently discovered. *shrugs* And who knew that she wouldn't pummel a certain someone into a paste when she found out he recently found her sketchbook and read through it? Who knew that it would actually shut her down a bit, emotionally? She's just usually all rage and riot, so it was so odd to see her get all quiet and vulnerable.

I don't think for a second that this is breaking out of the character's mould. I think it's delving deeper. She's still Marrow, to use her as the example, but there's just more to her than vitriol and venom; other's just don't usually get to see these things unless they stick around long enough.

And honestly, I really enjoy getting to see these things along with the other characters. It's just as new and surprising (or sometimes shocking) to me as it is to them.

So, what about you? Do you find your characters sometimes surprise you or do you always orchestrate their every move?

I know I haven't written much on my journals as of late but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things again.

And I have a confession: I haven't been playing Brianna lately for a reason. It's not that I have been trying to shirk my duties as an active faculty member of Xavier's or the X-Men, honest. I want to be doing these things, but I just haven't been in Brianna's head-space much as of late.

Many of the personal storylines I had going for her have fizzled out due to people dropping offline or losing apparent interest, which is fine, honestly. That's their prerogative. But also, I'm just having a hard time 'feeling' her, you know? How can I explain? Playing her feels forced to some degree or another. Not that I think she, as a character, is forced, but that I always feel like I'm forcing myself to play her when I do. I don't know if it's just that I'm bored with her, that I've gotten into a rut with her or if the character just isn't where I want to be with RP these days. I don't really know. I find I have a serious lack of energy when RPing her and feel that my RP 'performance', if you will, is less than standard or is just 'surface' RP.

Any of the 'depth' she was originally written to have has never really surfaced since I started to play her last December. Not that she has a truly angsty background or anything, but she has had some drama, like everyone else and she just kind of shows the 'showy' side of herself all the time -- which is how she was written, granted, so maybe I just wrote her 'facade' a bit too tightly. I don't know. She's out there partying, drinking, smoking and keeping her relationships at an arms-length, so to speak. She doesn't open up a lot to people. Not really and truly. Perhaps I didn't put enough angst in her background so there's not a lot to open up to, per se. Maybe I need something dramatic to happen to her to 'liven' things up a bit. I don't know.

But in all honesty, I have been having more fun playing Marrow as of late. Granted, she's a canon character (or FC on XMR), so some might think that she might come off as more well-rounded than an OC but I don't think that's what's going on here, nor do I think that's true. I know of many OCs that are played well and come off as very well-rounded and not so cardboard-cutout-ish. Not many people know that Marrow's background was completely re-written by me. Not a scrap of it is canon. Why? Because canon-Marrow doesn't fit XMR's storyline at all. There are no Murlocks, to start with and that's such a foundational part to the canon-Marrow, just to touch the tip of the iceburg.

With the exception of the concept, powers and the name, the character is 'mine' through her background. So is her personality. Now, I've been told that I do Marrow well by several people -- and I take this as a compliment because in reality I don't know the comic book Marrow. This is why I say the personality belongs to me. I have never seen a comic with her in it before until recently (and even that has been snippets on the web).

All that aside, I'm having a blast playing her. Yes, some days it's hard to get into her headspace because she is a very unpredictable character. I have to use dice occasionally to decide what way her mood will swing, how she'll react to things and occasionally a pose might take me 15 minutes because I'm having a hard time putting her reactions into words. She is a very strong character with a stronger will than many, but also instable mentally -- which may change over time as people start to try to get to know the woman inside, beyond the bones, depending. She's brash, bold and calls it like she sees it. She's harsh and stoic and yet there's a more fragile side to her that only a select few have actually seen. I love the dynamics of this character and no matter what XMR tosses at her, she just keeps on going -- and often surprises me with what she does.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what I love about Marrow. When I RP the bony one, I feel 100% engaged. She's out there and in your face and is an enigma and a bulldozer and... you get the point.

Brianna is... background noise.

See why I'm having issues here?

When I RP Bri, I feel like I'm just there for scene colouring/decor. She's furniture.

Does this mean I'm retiring the character? No, not likely at this point. I'm still going to attempt to breathe some new life into her, but how, I'm not exactly sure just yet. I'm not one to try to steal the limelight from people or to thrive on uber-angst, in truth, so I want something that's engaging but without the screaming neon lights that flash, "LOOK AT ME!!" at other players. That's not fun for anyone else.

Since the QOTD came out regarding what our desktop wallpaper images were, I have taken it upon myself to attempt to make a proper wallpaper. Yes, it is Marrow-themed. Let me know what you think:

Please note that the images and lyrics used do not belong to me, yadda yadda. This was intended for personal usage only, etc. So... if you steal it, I am not responsible. :P

Little Miss Short Attention Span is having difficulties coming up with some kind of topic to write about today though the desire to write is certainly present. I blame it on lack of food and sleep. Hm. Perhaps I will simply answer the QOTD for now as my desktop image on the laptop is actually X-Men related. Then I might do a 'real' post later on.

What is your current computer desktop image? Let's see it.

Hmmm. Which image do you think out of the pair suits my version of Marrow better? *grins

You'll need to click on the image to see it better, as apparently this post doesn't like sticking the larger image in with the text.

I'd have to say I'm not quite sure what I think of the image of Marrow in a school-girl's uniform. It seems so incredibly...wrong. Am I alone in this opinion?

Regardless, I switch between Marrow images and a few other X-related images for my laptop's wallpaper image. My main computer has a rough image of Logan on it. Looks faintly Japanese in origin to me, but not 'cutsey anime' styled, however. It's hard to describe. I'd have to screen capture that one as well and honestly, I wouldn't enter my computer room right now if I were at home if you paid me a million bucks. I swear that the show While You Were Out came in while I was working over the last month at some point and swapped my computer room with Hades itself. Complete with fire and brimstone. :P

I digress.

So if anyone wanted an idea of the type of Marrow I play, take a look at the image on the left. Sure, she doesn't have bones popping out of her head, the bones in her back are longer, and the bones coming out of her arms are at the elbows, but... that's the type of image I picture of Marrow in her uniform. Gruff-looking. Granted, she's still Fairuza Balk in my head, too. Someone found me a great photo manipulation of Fairuza as Marrow which I also swap out onto my laptop wallpaper periodically. Perhaps I will grab a screen shot of that and slap it up later. Watch for edits of this article.

The question I answered for my character Brianna yesterday was "what sources do you use as inspiration for your roleplay characters?"

I did not take the time to address Marrow, as the post was already quite long just covering Brianna. So, let's get down to it

Marrow: This character was a little more difficult for me to create, believe it or not. You see, if you take a look at her bio on Wikipedia, you'll see that an awful lot of her history had to be trashed for XMR. On XMR, Weapon X, the Morlocks, Gene Nation, alternate dimentions, Sentinals and SHIELD do not exist (not to mention that events mentioned in her background such as M-Day and whatnot have not occurred), and therefore most of that history would have to be nixed and replaced with something more fitting for the game.

So, her bio was completely scrapped and re-written by me. I felt that someone with bones protruding out of their flesh would probably be rather mentally disturbed and from all the images I ever saw of her, she seemed a little... unhinged, to say the least. As such, I used that as a basis for writing the character's background and just 'rolled with it'.

Going on the premise from the second X-Men movie that the mutant X gene was inherited from the father's side, I wrote up that her father was actually a mutant, hence where her own gene came from. Without going into too many details about my character's history (because I'd rather that came out via RP, honestly), I'll just say that it was because of her father's actions coupled with the fact that he was a mutant that her mother reacted so negatively to her when the bones started to spring forth from her back.

The comic snippets I found of her on the web showed her to be rather flamboyant, rambunctious, witty, sarcastic and not always the most appropriate. People seemed to let her get away with a fair amount, however, though out of context, it was hard to tell why they did in the comics or if she always got away with being so bombastic. While this was a neat idea, I wanted something a little more rough and ragged. I wanted Marrow to be more mentally disturbed, more gruff, more stand-offish at times, but also someone who really did, deep down inside, crave human contact (not necessarily physical but to just have a need for someone to talk to occasionally) -- but this part, I wanted buried and buried very deeply. This was not going to be my 'touchy feely' character. She was going to be prickly (figuratively and literally). She was going to be tough. She was going to be volatile.

And she was going to be about as subtle as a MAC truck. (As a RL friend of mine says, "Subtle. Like a falling anvil."

Once more, the character Sonja Blue stuck out in my head. Not so much the character of Sonja herself, as I did with Brianna, but the demon within Sonja. Kind of the alter ego was what I drew upon for Marrow. (Funny how the same books inspired the same two characters.) I liked the idea that the demon was dangerous, unpredictable and surfaced without warning and sometimes with very little provocation. This is how I wanted Marrow to be; someone who could snap at the drop of the hat.

Granted, I didn't want her snapping at everything or she'd just be unplayable. So around trusted individuals, she's calm, trusting, though still guarded to a degree. But she's still quick to anger if people aren't careful. Allow me to give an example. In a scene that happened maybe a month ago (which I don't think I can talk about the details too openly yet, so forgive me for being vague), this hair-trigger temper was shown when she almost killed a man -- because he hurt a trusted friend badly. She just lashed out with little concern about the consequences, what stabbing him might do to him or what others might think. All she could think about was neutralizing the enemy and the enemy was the one who hurt her friend and teammateThankfully, friends, allies and teammates are given a little bit of leeway over those who she sees as a threat or enemy.

Considering her time on the streets, I figure she started lashing out, fighting back and protecting those who were pushed to the edges of society -- the marginalized, if you will. This included herself, but others who maybe didn't judge her as readily as some might.

For this, I have the Punisher to thank. Both version of the Punisher, in fact. Now, granted, her background is nothing compared to what Frank Castle experiences. It isn't that which inspired me. It was the line from the first one that Dolph Lundgren delivers in a monologue:

Where is justice? Where is punishment? Or have you already answered, have you already said to the world here is justice, here is punishment, here, in me.

Okay, a little bit melodramatic, maybe, and out of context, but I love that little monologue and this line just seemed fitting. I liked the idea of a vigilante who was out to right wrongs. However, I've taken it and twisted it with this character. She isn't righting wrongs with the X-Men. She's righting wrongs with the Brotherhood. Or wrongs as Magneto sees them and dictates them. She has been persecuted so long because of her obvious mutation that she completely buys into 'the Cause' and has become one of his Acolytes on XMR.

But I digress.

Music is easy when it came to inspiration for Marrow. I saw her as one who was hardened by years on the street, years of persecution and attack against her person (usually unprovoked) and by one who had had enough and was ready to fight back. In truth, there was a combination of music and a movie which I thought of when writing up the character of Marrow, who has long since done her best to leave her past and her human name behind her.

Falling Down was a 1993 movie which starred Michael Douglas who portrayed an unemployed man who grew increasingly frustrated with the wrongs of society and how broken people seemed until he finally went "postal" and lashed out at them all. He became a vigilante because of a chain of events which continued to batter him down. The idea of a series of events creating a vigilante made sense for me when it came to writing Marrow's background. I really felt as though it could help shape her identity and make her ripe for the Brotherhood -- and yes, I began writing her with the concept of her joining the Brotherhood stuck in the back of my mind.

There is a CD which samples the movie Falling Down in several of the songs, so it seemed fitting that it would further influence me while writing up Marrow's character. Front Line Assembly's "Millennium" is hardcore industrial and very angry in nature. It's rough around the edges, harsh and offers no apologies -- just as I wanted Marrow.

In fact, I have a few of their songs in her playlist on my iPod and computer, as they just seemed fitting. Other groups also float around in my head for Marrow such as Nine Inch Nails, gODHEAD (specifically "I Hate Today" as a song), Pop Will Eat Itself (specifically the "Dos Dedos Mis Amigos" CD), Fear Factory, Front 242 and many others. (One of these days, I'll post her playlist once it's a little more full. There is also "18 Wheeler" by Pink on the list of inspirations.)

I'm sure there were more inspirations, but those were the big ones. If I think of more, I'll post about them, but these are the ones that stand out in my memory the most. It should also be noted that her powers and skills were scaled back considerably, too, as she was nigh invincible as-written for the comics. She's still quite a powerhouse, but she's not invulnerable.

Still trying to get a feel for this thing. It's not quite what I'm used to, admittedly. I'm hoping that over time, Vox will start offering more of the features and functionality that LiveJournal has offered, as I do miss some of this. However, this is still amusing me, nonetheless.

With that out of the way, on with the RP-related stuff....

*******************************************

I'm rather pleased to say that I've been getting the opportunity to roleplay Marrow a little more as of late. I do enjoy playing the bony one and she provides a good break from Brianna, who is currently drowning in testosterone these days. Heh.

Marrow is an interesting character. I started working on her before I knew that much about her. In truth, I still don't know much about the comic book Marrow, but I have been told repeatedly by people on the game that I play her well. (Thank you all for the compliments!) Believe it or not, I find RPing her rather gratifying. She's a rather complex character who is gruff and unhinge while at the same time a bit of a thinker and a loyal friend/colleague.

I just find her rather interesting.

Granted, she's a bit of a power-house, but I knocked her back considerably. Her healing factor is probably nowhere near what it is in the comic books, but she can still take a licking and keep on ticking.

I've been having fun with the fact that she doesn't like to be touched (my version of Marrow). She's disassociated herself from being 'genderized' so much that she doesn't even use her real name. She just doesn't think of herself in those terms. So when Rogue recently told her not to write out romance as a possibility in her life, it was all she could do not to blow a gasket about it. Marrow was adamant that it would not sneak up and bite her in the ass like it has done so to others, apparently.

For the same reason, she hates her uniform. It had to be specially made for her but now that she's worn it once, she hates it. She prefers baggy, non-descript clothing, but the uniform is anything but baggy. It's nearly skin-tight. And she hates it. She commented to Rogue that she just felt it was all wrong because she felt like she was just 'showing off [her] junk'. A very obvious statement about her discomfort with the gender issue.

Don't get me wrong, she's not 'into' girls. Far from it. I think, as a player, I've decided that she really is hetero, but she just doesn't see herself as a female much less one that might be attractive to anyone or one that might be a sexual creature. Let's face it, folks; she's a walking nightmare. It would take a very brave, brave man to get past the outer shell and then all the barriers she's erected over the years to protect herself, both in psyche and in body.

Kids on the streets tend to band together for safety. She spent four years on the streets alone because even street kids were freaked out by her. So, she had to learn to look out for 'number one'. She learned very quickly that if someone touched you, they were either going to try to rob, rape or kill you, so... all touch became 'the bad touch' in her mind. It's taken her a while to even accept a hand-shake or pat on the shoulder (which she may still shy from).

So when one new friend touched her face, she jumped back, visibly startled and on edge. And when another touched her elbow and the protruding bone there, she just freaked out, jumped back and warned him very clearly that if he did that again, his body would gain some new drainage holes. (Yay for the stabby-stabby.) So, no, I don't see romance happening anytime in the near future for the bony one, hence why it's sometimes a bit of a relief to play her after I've been playing Brianna consistently for a bit.

Honestly, I have more fun with her when she's involved in some kind of conflict, even if that conflict is mental instead of physical. She's gruff, crude, blunt and more perceptive than some people might chalk her up as being. She thinks things though and isn't always the quickest when it comes to witty comebacks, but this doesn't mean she's stupid. She's more of a brooder. Admittedly, though, she does have a softer nature that hides just beneath the rough exterior. She actively feeds some of the folks on the streets that she befriended over the years, taking out a sandwich or three when she can. And she's extremely loyal to her teammates and friends.

It has been fun, however, taking her out in the city periodically, and I might try to do so more often in the very near future. She recently got an invitation out to the Boar's Head Bar & Grill -- *gasp* a public appearance! She has yet to do an appearance like this (outside of the Brotherhood's daring 'rescue' of that mutant kid from jail), so I'm hoping this will be a fun and exciting one.

Considering the IC rumours that have been apparently spreading about her, this should make for a very interesting scene.

I might even ponder inviting a few more people than the one who invited her out there... just to mix it up a little and cause some noise. I generally don't like larger scenes. Anything with more than 3 people in it (including me) and I generally start to experience Eye-Crossing Syndrome and Inability-to-Remember-Pose-Order-osis. I can do them occasionally though, and usually only after much infusion of caffeine and sugar in my system for an alertness booster. ;)

So, this is what's going on with (my) Marrow, internally, externally and in the near future, perhaps.