7 posts tagged “brianna”

It's been nearly a month since my last posting since, mostly, I haven't had much to say.

I wanted to say thanks to those individuals who have been helping me to get back into Bri's headspace and find her voice again. She's a tough cookie to crack and right now I think I'm starting to figure out 'where she's at' so to speak.

Marrow has grown too complacent, however. I might be contacting a few of you about this to put some conflict back into the cranky, bony one. While complacent is good for her mental health, surely, it's kind of boring for her player. ;) I have a few ideas, having discussed it with a couple of you, but it's a matter of finding a way to implementing it. If I can't find players to help me out, I may turn to plot staff to see if they'd be willing to run a short scene for me just to act as a catalyst to get her back onto that path of mental instability.

And Theresa's just fine, really. I just need to get her out more. :)

That's about it.

It's been a few weeks and I'm still trying to get my crap together. Thanks for bearing with me.

I'm finding I have less and less time these days for MUSHing, so I'm trying to work out a week-by-week schedule for this. Bottom line: I work shifts and have found that I need to be more RL-social, including seeing friends I hardly ever see and family members who feel it's six months at a time before they get to see me again and aren't happy with that. (They exaggerate, but still. Point taken.) And on top of this, I've been bringing work home, have a personal project that has to be done (for my own sanity) and have been cracking down on my school work.

So, I can't be on every night, but I'm doing my best to be on 3-5 times per week, minimum, as I still want to MUSH, still have obligations on MUSHes and don't want to drop everything.

With all that in mind and in the spirit of getting back into stuff, here's what I need/want to do with my characters:

1. Brianna - She's currently the de facto leader of the X-Men, a teacher, a squad leader, yearbook advisor and a musician and lately, she has been very inactive. Again. Still. However you want to look at it. I need to fix this. However, I've made a few attempts to get people together, set things up or even be available but people aren't taking me up on much. Any suggestions on how I can get people excited to get involved again would be greatly appreciated. Because I can't be on every day, it's sometimes hard for me to judge when others might be around or to just spontaneously start things -- shiftwork sucks, ladies and gents. Also, aside from this, now that she's relatively mobile, I'd like to get her out on the streets a bit more... in her favourite club, the cyber cafe, etc. She's been cooped up too much and I'd like to expand her experiences a little. I even considered her 'moonlighting' as a singer or guest musician at various clubs around town. Anyone want in on that?
   
   
2. Marrow - An acolyte of Magneto, Combat Marshal and general 'thug' for the Brotherhood, my little walking nightmare does a lot of 'training' or 'working out', 'patrolling' and generally rumbling with the street thugs of NYC. The side-line story that was going on for her was her relationship with her boyfriend (which is great fun, honestly), but I'd like to branch her out a bit. I know she's cantankerous and scary-looking, but there's really a scared, walled-up little girl under all those bone spikes and gruff attitude and it's something I'd love to get a chance to explore a bit more, if anyone's willing. I've managed to get to this a bit with her relationship with Zach, and with some of her friendship with Rogue, but I really feel I've only managed to hit the tip of the iceberg. Anyone willing to help with?
   
   
3. Theresa - For those who don't know, I have a third alt named Theresa. Yes, it's Siryn! I've managed to get a few scenes down with a potential love interest, perhaps a few friends, and even an 'enemy', but there's something missing... ah! Yes! FEMALE FRIENDS. ;) All her contacts so far are male, which is fine... and I don't want to deter anyone with male characters to avoid RPing with Theresa because I've said this. But she's relatively new to NYC or to the U.S. in general, she's a student, she's Catholic with a bit of a temper/mouth on her if she gets riled enough, and she could really use some friends, especially those of the female persuasion. Who is she going to talk to about some stuff. Writing letters home to her aunt is great, but there's no one-on-one action right now. Who's up for the challenge? ;)

With the exception of maybe Bri, who does have some professional obligations she needs to fulfill or take care of as well, all three of my girls really need some interpersonal interaction at this point. One-on-one or small (read: 2-3 people) group scenes would be grand.

Do I want them involved in plot? Hm, well, by nature, Bri and Marrow will already get dragged into plot, so that's a given. Right now, I'm still trying to get a 'feel' for Theresa and what makes her tick, what will push her over certain edges, etc. So smaller, non-big-plot scenes would be something I'd like to focus on less, if possible, for a little while. Though, if she gets dragged in ICly, that's different. ;)

So, that's that. If anyone is willing to help out or get involved or wants to get dragged into something, etc., poke at me, please. Feedback is welcome too. :)

Hahahaha. Either that title can refer to the fact that Brianna is currently confined to a wheelchair or the fact that she keeps saying to people who keep bringing her goodies that they're trying to make her fat... ;)

Anyway, I've got about five scenes under my belt with her at this point and I can say that she's getting a little easier to RP. I still have some difficulties and sometimes I have to fight old habits (which I have identified as not-so-great habits), but I think I'm rolling with the punches a little bit more and that she's got a bit of a storyline now. She has a few things going on and getting dumped in her lap and now she's got to find some way of dealing with it all while in this cast for two months.

She's getting cranky. (Thought she was cranky in the last few scenes? Ain't seen nothing yet. Heh.)

She's been confined to her bed long enough, too. I meant to drag her out a couple of nights ago (as the constant elevation thing is only supposed to be a 2-3 day ordeal), but stuff happened and RL has been stressful so I have really only RP'd Marrow. So, people can expect to see her struggling around the place in a wheelchair with her leg stuck out before her (think: smacking into doorframes and tables periodically). Hopefully things keep going better like they have been. I enjoy the character concept and do like RPing her. I just need to find that 'fun place' for her again.

Meanwhile, yes, I realize that having had her break her leg is going to limit what she can do over the next few months but frankly, I'm fine with it because her leg break has already generated some RP and I think it might take her in other potential directions (maybe taking up new activities since her physical activity will be limited -- so Ninjitsu class will be put on hold, but maybe she'll start focusing more on her technology knowledge and skills, for example).

And the coolest thing about her breaking her leg?

I heard that it spurred some RP between some folks. Gave them something to talk about.

That warms my little RP-geek heart like you wouldn't believe. :) And in turn, that RP opens up more RP for me.

To quote Babylon 5: "And so it begins..."

I've had two scenes with Brianna so far and I must say that it has been hard so far. I have struggled to get the poses out. I don't think that her new storyline is necessarily forced... it's her that I'm having difficulty representing in text.

I definitely think I need to keep my scenes small and simple for now. No more than two others in a scene and maybe not necessarily scenes that I have to 'run' so to speak. Did a Danger Room session and it was very difficult for me. I was fortunate that I had a great RP partner for it; but being in a role where I had to come up with the scenario was draining. I used to love coming up with DR scenarios and running with them. It's just difficult these days because of my difficulties with Bri.

Getting her out of the school occasionally is something that I need to do. Not only because she was designed to be this 'rebel' so to speak and have a 'life' compared to the other faculty but also because I can see her nearly being driven to drink by some of the stuff going on at the school (nothing in particular, but I can see her patience with teenaged angst/drama/pranks/etc. being low right now with everything being so 'serious' and 'dark' in her life right now). So I could literally see her being almost like Logan in canon... just flitting in and out when she feels like it, though unlike him where she actually comes back more regularly to deal with responsibilities etc... despite those responsibilities being part of her more recent stress.

At least she has her drivers license now.

Reminds me I have another +char/upgrade to request soon, but I need to RP around it first... which means scenes with certain people to get the ball rolling.

Oh, and in case someone is thinking my difficulties with RPing her is because there's all these new stresses and pressures on her, that's not it. These things were added to help facilitate some RP for me and to create a story of Bri's own, instead of her being like an NPC in everyone else's stories. Don't get me wrong; I enjoy getting pulled into other people's stories and helping out with them, but she just didn't have anything of her own.

She was just so laid back all the time and had nothing going on. She wasn't involved in plots (because I am one of those ones who can't handle the big huge scenes) as a general rule, which didn't help... but it was worse because she didn't really have a story of her own. She was, as I've posted before, furniture in the school or background noise. People went to her when they needed her, which is fine, seriously... but she didn't have anything to keep her going.

Much like an actor asking, "What's my motivation?" I have found myself in the same boat.

Anyway, I'm RPing at least. It's better than nothing. It's just still currently a bit like pulling teeth to get into Bri's head, but I'm trying.

So I've had two scenes now with Brianna.

Let me tell you: it is hard RPing her now. Really hard. I have to stop and think. Her actions don't just flow from my fingertips anymore.

But I'm trying.

I wanted to thank those who have offered to help me bring her back. I really appreciate it. I'm looking forward to RPing with you. :)

But I do ask that everyone be patient with me if my poses take a little longer or if sometimes things seem a little 'off' or if my scenes aren't as long as they used to be because it really is taking a lot of effort to roleplay Bri and I'm not entirely sure that I've managed to get back into her head just yet.

I'm doing my best. Honest.

I know I haven't written much on my journals as of late but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things again.

And I have a confession: I haven't been playing Brianna lately for a reason. It's not that I have been trying to shirk my duties as an active faculty member of Xavier's or the X-Men, honest. I want to be doing these things, but I just haven't been in Brianna's head-space much as of late.

Many of the personal storylines I had going for her have fizzled out due to people dropping offline or losing apparent interest, which is fine, honestly. That's their prerogative. But also, I'm just having a hard time 'feeling' her, you know? How can I explain? Playing her feels forced to some degree or another. Not that I think she, as a character, is forced, but that I always feel like I'm forcing myself to play her when I do. I don't know if it's just that I'm bored with her, that I've gotten into a rut with her or if the character just isn't where I want to be with RP these days. I don't really know. I find I have a serious lack of energy when RPing her and feel that my RP 'performance', if you will, is less than standard or is just 'surface' RP.

Any of the 'depth' she was originally written to have has never really surfaced since I started to play her last December. Not that she has a truly angsty background or anything, but she has had some drama, like everyone else and she just kind of shows the 'showy' side of herself all the time -- which is how she was written, granted, so maybe I just wrote her 'facade' a bit too tightly. I don't know. She's out there partying, drinking, smoking and keeping her relationships at an arms-length, so to speak. She doesn't open up a lot to people. Not really and truly. Perhaps I didn't put enough angst in her background so there's not a lot to open up to, per se. Maybe I need something dramatic to happen to her to 'liven' things up a bit. I don't know.

But in all honesty, I have been having more fun playing Marrow as of late. Granted, she's a canon character (or FC on XMR), so some might think that she might come off as more well-rounded than an OC but I don't think that's what's going on here, nor do I think that's true. I know of many OCs that are played well and come off as very well-rounded and not so cardboard-cutout-ish. Not many people know that Marrow's background was completely re-written by me. Not a scrap of it is canon. Why? Because canon-Marrow doesn't fit XMR's storyline at all. There are no Murlocks, to start with and that's such a foundational part to the canon-Marrow, just to touch the tip of the iceburg.

With the exception of the concept, powers and the name, the character is 'mine' through her background. So is her personality. Now, I've been told that I do Marrow well by several people -- and I take this as a compliment because in reality I don't know the comic book Marrow. This is why I say the personality belongs to me. I have never seen a comic with her in it before until recently (and even that has been snippets on the web).

All that aside, I'm having a blast playing her. Yes, some days it's hard to get into her headspace because she is a very unpredictable character. I have to use dice occasionally to decide what way her mood will swing, how she'll react to things and occasionally a pose might take me 15 minutes because I'm having a hard time putting her reactions into words. She is a very strong character with a stronger will than many, but also instable mentally -- which may change over time as people start to try to get to know the woman inside, beyond the bones, depending. She's brash, bold and calls it like she sees it. She's harsh and stoic and yet there's a more fragile side to her that only a select few have actually seen. I love the dynamics of this character and no matter what XMR tosses at her, she just keeps on going -- and often surprises me with what she does.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what I love about Marrow. When I RP the bony one, I feel 100% engaged. She's out there and in your face and is an enigma and a bulldozer and... you get the point.

Brianna is... background noise.

See why I'm having issues here?

When I RP Bri, I feel like I'm just there for scene colouring/decor. She's furniture.

Does this mean I'm retiring the character? No, not likely at this point. I'm still going to attempt to breathe some new life into her, but how, I'm not exactly sure just yet. I'm not one to try to steal the limelight from people or to thrive on uber-angst, in truth, so I want something that's engaging but without the screaming neon lights that flash, "LOOK AT ME!!" at other players. That's not fun for anyone else.

I think this question came up on the XMR discussion forums at one time, but I really didn't want to spam people there. As this is my blog, I figured that here is as good a place as any for me to 'spam away'.

The question was something to the effect of "what sources do you use as inspiration for your roleplay characters?"

The easy answer is "many places". But the easy answer isn't what I'm going for today.

Let's look at Brianna on XMR first.

Bishop-Pacheco.jpg

Brianna Flannery (aka Nexus): She was easy for me to create. I had the character concept stuck in my head for years and years and years; probably as long as I had been reading comic books. Someone recently made the connection between her power and that of the character Bishop, but in fact (believe it or not), I had the concept in my head long before I knew that Bishop even existed. Don't get me wrong; I think Bishop is a cool, kick-ass character, but sadly, he was not one of my initial inspirations for Brianna. Granted, my idea is far from original and may have been inspired by any number of things I had read in comics, seen on tv, etc. I simply cannot pinpoint it down to one item or thing.

sugg-selene-t.jpg

As for the actual character of Brianna, the actress was easy to peg. I saw a look in a movie that I simply fell in love with for a character concept and went with it. Kate Beckinsale in Underworld was a perfect model for what I wanted Brianna to look like, with the addition of piercings, tattoos and blue hair near her face. Yeah, I wanted a slightly more punked-up image of Selene. She was hot, bad-ass and just the image I was going for.

Unfortunately, I ran into personality problems with Bri in her first incarnation (Brianna v1.0... *snickers*). She was too shy, too naive, too sheep-like. The next incarnation was much more bad-ass, bold, brazen... a bit more fun than Selene in Underworld but able to hold her own in attitude and in a fight if necessary. This time around, she knows what she wants and she knows how to get it.

But this version isn't just as two-dimensional as all that either. In a way, believe it or not, some of her personality comes from my brother, as odd as that might sound. He's bold and speaks his mind. He means what he says. But there is a part of him that is rabidly protective of those he cares about. (In truth, I'm a bit like this but I'm not always as blunt or forward as my brother is -- some of it is a family trait, you see.) Bri is much the same in this respect.

Bif Naked

The Downward Spiral

And finally, music-wise, the inspiration for her is a combination of hardcore industrial and alternative music coupled with hardcore techno and dance music.

 I can't pin down any one particular song, though there's a list of CDs that likely had something to do with it.

One of these days when my playlists are a little more full for both of my characters, I will share list list off of my iPod here in this space as well as some lyrics from some of the more 'key' pieces.

The only other inspiration I might have drawn on for Brianna could have been from books that I read. I read a lot of vampire novels. I have been reading about and researching the vampire myth since I was ten years old (I'm 32 at the time of this posting, so do the math). To say that they had no bearing on Bri would be a lie. Sure, she's not a vampire. She doesn't suck blood. She isn't allergic to garlic. Sure, she's sensitive to sunlight but that's just due to her sensitive, pale Irish skin. Heh.

Midnight Blue: The Sonja Blue Collection

But there's just something rather empowering about a female character who kicks ass and takes numbers just because she can. It relates back to Selene from Underworld, too. However, there is a series of books that I can probably tie in here, as well. It started with a character name Sonja Blue in a book called Sunglasses After Dark by Nancy A. Collins. I think this was the first book I ever read where the 'hero' was a woman and where the hero was actually more of an anti-hero than anything else.

And really, this time around, Brianna is more of an anti-hero, in my humble opinion. Someone recently pointed out to me on the game that Brianna is almost the anti-X-Man character, though she was the first X-Man on the game. She smokes, drinks, gets tattoos and piercings, has sex, swears (sometimes at or in front of the students), rebels against the rules from time to time, and threatens the X-kids that she'll "kick their asses" if they call her "ma'am", "Miss Flannery", "Miss", "Teach" or any variety of other teacher-related names (though she is the music instructor at Xavier's school), or if they do a variety of other things which she deems inappropriate. Sure, she's still on the good guys' team, but I guess if she were a Dungeons & Dragons character, she'd probably be Lawful Chaotic.

So as you can see, Brianna had quite a wide variety of media influencing her creation. She was probably also at least 15+ years in the making, if you can believe it.

Marrow is another story but I think she also deserves a post of her own.